Relationship Counselling
Why People come to Counselling
In my personal experience the most common reasons why people come to seek counselling relates either to relationship issues or major life changes such as leaving home, getting married , new baby, reaching mid life, work issues promotion/redundancy which levels of emotional distress.
Most people experience emotional crises when they are in a relationship that is in trouble, when a relationship has ended, or when they are lonely and desire a relationship but are unable to find a satisfactory one.
Of course there are many other reasons why people come to counselling such as illness, physical or emotional trauma, many types of losses but in the main most problems will impact on your relationships.
RELATIONSHIPS
In order to create satisfying relationships in our lives one of the ideas that I subscibe to is that we do have choices and we contribute to our degree of happiness by how we think and act in our everyday life. In relationships a person can only take responsibility for their own behaviour and how they choose to think and act, they are not responsible for others reactions or behavours.
I believe that meaningful relationships are central to living a contented and happy life. The choices we make determine the quality of those relationships let it be with your partner, lover, sibling, parents, inlaws, friend or employer. To create quality and happy relationships it is important to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without trying to control or blame other people in the process.
The majority of people come to see a counsellor when they are in emotional pain and are having difficulty finding a solution to their problem or resolving their pain/distress without outside help. In coming to counselling my clients can expect that they can talk to me in confidence about their problem with the hope of finding solutions and feeling better.
During the counselling session I encourage and guide clients to recognise and make effective choices that will bring more love, happiness and contentment to their lives and relationships and inturn will help heal their mind and soul.
1 ) What is counselling?
Counselling is a ‘talk therapy’. By talking and engaging with a skilled counsellor, counselling is both an experience and a process in which you can discover, explore and understand yourself and your concerns. Through this understanding and experience it is hoped that you will have greater freedom and choice and be able to live in a more fulfilling way.
2 ) Do I have to have a particular problem to come to counselling?
People come to counselling with a variety of concerns including, academic worries, bereavement, eating problems, self-harm, pregnancy, anxiety, depression, homesickness, family problems and so on. There is no particular ‘problem’ that you have to have - some people, for example, might simply want some space to take stock of their life or think about the future.
3 ) Is it confidential?
We take the issue of confidentiality very seriously and our work is framed by a strict code of ethics. Both the fact that you see a counsellor, as well as the information you give to a counsellor, will not be divulged to anyone else outside the counselling service without your specific written permission. The exceptions to this are your counsellor’s supervision (which is itself confidential and you are made anonymous), where the law applies e.g. Prevention of Terrorism Act, and in very rare situations where someone may pose a risk of causing serious harm to themselves or others. In this last case we would still endeavour to obtain your permission.
4 ) Are the counsellors qualified?
There are varying levels of experience and qualification amongst the counselling team but all the counsellors are qualified to a minimum level of counselling competence.
5 ) Can I request to see a male or female counsellor?
In the initial interview we ask people if they have any objections as to whether they have a male or female as their counsellor and this is arranged accordingly. Occasionally, as well, people may be in ongoing counselling with their counsellor and wish to change to someone else - this can be arranged either through the current counsellor or reception.
6 ) What can I expect from my counsellor?
You can expect confidentiality, a non-judgemental attitude and respect from your counsellor. You can expect your counsellor to respond to you sensitively and honestly, and to work together with you to build up a trusting and supportive relationship. Your counsellor will make a commitment to sessions at mutually agreed times, usually weekly, and they will contact you if they have to cancel a session.
7 ) What do we expect from you?
We expect you to make a serious commitment to counselling, to take responsibility for your own growth and change. You should be on time for your appointments and inform us with the best possible notice if you need to cancel. The counselling service is well used and appointments not kept are time that might have been used by someone else. Finally counselling is conducted in an atmosphere of mutual respect, non-violence and respect for JMU property.
8 ) How many sessions can I have?
The average counselling contract lasts for six sessions and this is generally the contract that will be offered to you. There is some flexibility to work longer but this depends on the demand that the Service is currently under. Some people also find that they may not need all six sessions. We recommend that you discuss this with your counsellor rather than simply stop coming.
9) Is there a waiting list?
At times of high demand we have to operate a waiting list. We keep you on the list unless you tell us otherwise and endeavour at daily allocation meetings to allocate you to a counsellor as soon as possible. It is more difficult to allocate someone to a counsellor if they have limited availability so it is worth contacting us, if you are on the waiting list, and you find yourself with more time. Please also tell us if you urgently need counselling.